“50 Altered States” Article

I’m posting this for those of you who missed my article in Savage Henry Magazine. It was written for their Harvest edition. Please enjoy and share if you like it.



This month Savage Henry is all about weed and its legality. Some comics use marijuana to get inspired, but I get my tongue loose before a show with a combination of red wine and Vicodin. Something about an altered state of consciousness helps to blur the line between inappropriate and hilarious; it corrodes inhibitions. Comedy has long been connected to that altered state of mind celebrated by comedians like Lenny Bruce, Doug Stanhope, and Bill Hicks.

Last year, Morgan Preston, Kristine Levine and I did “The Biggest Tour Ever EVER.” It was 50 shows, 50 states, all in 50 days. We are three of six comics to ever accomplish this. We went through blindness, earthquakes, and Hurricane Sandy to do it. We even ended up serving as a weather correspondent for KIRO news. I’m pretty sure weed was the only thing keeping Preston sane while Levine and I drank ourselves out of nervous breakdowns for a change.

This year I’m about to embark on another 50-state tour with Preston, but this time with young comedian Billy anderson. We are trying to beat our own record, doing the same tour in less than 50 days. Only now we are shooting for a Guinness Book of World Records to compliment the achievement. We are piling into our custom tour vehicle, a six-year-old Jeep Commander, with Tug, Preston’s energetic akita, to travel the United States of america. The tour is going to pass every pub and hidden meth lab in this great land of freedom, all for your entertainment.

The Biggest Tour Ever EVER is a good example of how altered states of consciousness are intertwined with comedy. Last year we were handed a myriad of mind-altering drugs: Percocet, Vicodin, hydrocodone, bags of pot, oxycodone, free drinks, etc… It’s sort of part of the gig. This year we have Keith Walker as our road manager, whose job will be to keep track of all the pills, booze and pot thrown at us. Maybe we’ll sell them at the merch booth after the show.

Although some of my tourmates are avid pot-smokers, I don’t touch the stuff, myself. I’ll already be high enough from the sleep deprivation and road food parasites eating away at my coiled guts. I don’t need the confusion pot provides, my mind is already scrambled from years of regularly dousing each brain cell with bourbon. By the way, my liver damage and short-term memory loss were acquired LEGALLY. However, if you want your memory loss to come with a little lung damage, you’re going to have to break the law by buying pot. Well, unless you smoke cigarettes with your booze, which is 10 times worse, but also LEGAL.

Anyway, I may not partake in the pot but I certainly don’t view it as a big deal. In fact, every place that I go I realize more and more that marijuana is not that big a deal. Most cities don’t care about weed at all, except for Salt Lake City. In Salt Lake City you can’t smoke pot, drink liquor, or wed gays. They also expect you to believe that Jesus was from Missouri or some shit. So in conclusion, I’d say let’s just move on to something more important and let the Mormons worry about beer and reefer madness.


  1. Nicely written, however, I do believe comedy can be done sober !! To be free of the bondage of self and the self centered ness that all humans are plagued with, would I believe be a more intense, genuine and full of real sarcasm that will cut right to the chase. I could be wrong, after all I am not a comedian.

    • Actually I’ve done the entire (2nd run of) The Biggest Tour Ever EVER! completely sober. Not a drop or pill in my system.

      • Congrats !!! Now that is definitely something to smile about !! :)


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