Dining For Dummies: Picnic With A Pedophile
An interesting story popped up the other day about a 57-year-old puppeteer from Largo, Florida named Robert William Brown. He was found chatting online about killing kids with another psychopath by the name of Michael Arnett.
When authorities searched Brown’s tool shed they discovered pictures of kids bound and gagged, photos of dead children and a flier for a missing child… not to mention a slew of kiddie porn. Even more disturbing, Brown and Arnett actually plotted to abduct, fuck, eat and kill a member of Robert’s church; a child who took part in his lame-ass youth ministry program.
That’s right: he is a professional children’s entertainer. He owns his own company called Puppets Plus… I guess he means “plus cannibalism and child rape”. You may have also seen Robert William Brown on The Christian Television Network’s kids show Joy Junction. Apparently they call it Joy Junction because Robert gets Joy at the junction where the child’s soul separates from its body.
I’m confused as to why anyone would entrust Brown with their kid in the first place. He’s creepy. One look at this beady-eyed pedophile and you should be able to tell that he wants to fuck and eat your kid. Look at him! Even his puppet, “Marty”, is creepy. By the way, “Marty” looks like an unfunny version of “George” from the amazing comedy team Otto & George. The stark difference is that George is funny while Marty is busy getting fist fucked by a Bible-thumping sex offender.
Forget entrusting him with your children, why on earth would you want to subject your kids to Brown’s mediocre form of “entertainment” in the first place? He is an awful ventriloquist; you can see his dumb lips moving. Not only does he suck at throwing his voice, but his Jeffrey Dahmer impersonation stinks. He got caught in a chat room like some nerd on comic book forum. Where is the cooler full of severed heads, mother fucker? If you’re going to do it then at least do it right.
One online article said, “If you can’t trust that your children are safe in Sunday school, when you’re in the same building, seriously, where is any child safe?” Oh, I don’t know… how about anywhere else? I would rather leave my child in a crack house as collateral than leave him with Captain Creepy and his Pedophile Puppet. Although this is purely a hypothetical in my case, because I left my kid in a medical dumpster at the 12th week of it’s development like a responsible parent.
Another worrisome statement I’ve seen floating about the Internet is, “Well this guy is not a Christian!!!” Yes, he is. You can’t say he isn’t a practicing Christian just because you don’t like him. Sometimes scumbags believe in the Bible, too. I mean look at The Pope; Joseph Ratzinger was proven to cover-up allegations of child molestation, so is HE suddenly not a Christian? He is THE Christian… and defender of pedophiles.
Even so, people won’t question their ideas of morality or the hollow dogma that lulls them into a false sense of trust. If they honestly questioned things, they wouldn’t be going to church in the first place. Instead, they’ll claim Brown wasn’t a “real Christian” because they think all Christians are morally superior… and another child will be molested in the shadows of denial.
Now don’t get me wrong, not every Christian kids entertainer is going to try to kill children… some of them are just mentally ill. There’s another puppeteer named David Liebe Hart who does a show called, The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson. He famously sings operatic songs about not smoking crack with his band of grotesque creations; my favorite is a ratty old puppet named “Doug The Dog.”
I was watching clips online and, for whatever reason, Hart leaves his home number on the screen. So I gave him a ring at around two in the morning. “Let me talk to the fucking dog! It’s important!!!” He was surprisingly subdued and politely asked me to call back later. It sort of took the fun out of it, so I reciprocated his civility by telling him, “Your goddamn dog had better be ready to open it’s yap next time I call, you fucking jizz bucket.” We said goodnight, and then ended the exchange.
As for the particular Christian kiddie show cannibal, Robert William Brown, let’s hope he does the honorable thing by killing himself. He let Jesus into his heart and his tool shed, now let’s hope he lets a bullet enter the side of his brain. They’ll be scrapping all sorts of DNA off his keyboard for weeks.